I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
