he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
there is glitter all over my balls
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
