Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
The struggles of a small town man whore
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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