i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
