Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
40s are totally the cure
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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