K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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