Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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