Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
