How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
