if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
