Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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