Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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