dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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