I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
