margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
