What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
