When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
