I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
As shirtless as possible
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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