Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
