I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
