im gay
i know
yea but for you.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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