Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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