the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
