you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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