TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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