Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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