Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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