at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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