Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
