Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
