Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
