I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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