So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
