He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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