Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
