Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
