Christians are straight up FREAKS
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
