So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
