Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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