Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
