I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
