why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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