You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
