Nicole vs. Life
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
