Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
