Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
