His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I love having hate sex.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
