We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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