I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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