doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
