took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Panties = found
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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