Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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