He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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