ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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