my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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