I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I touched a dick in church today
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
