went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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