yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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