And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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