I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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