In America we eat man semen.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
that may or may not have been my penis.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
