Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I have post one night stand depression
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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