and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
