listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
