what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
