I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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