I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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