this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
